A Florida woman, Charity Craig, credits her husband’s affair with saving their marriage, saying spouses need to look beyond the “other woman” to heal a challenging marriage.
Matt Craig had an affair in 2012, but Charity, 46, says it made their relationship stronger after she decided to work on herself.
“It dawned on me he’s not my enemy,” Charity, now a marriage coach, told PEOPLE. “We’re both just humans with deep wounds, and that’s where we started healing.”
Valentine’s Day 2013 marked Charity and Matt Craig’s first date after his affair during their marriage.
“It was awkward, but it was part of a healing process,” Matt, 41, told the publication. “You can’t expect things to go back to the way they were. And I didn’t want things to go back, and neither did she.”
Sharing advice for others who might find themselves in similar spots, she says getting hyper-focused on the “other woman” gets in the way of healing a relationship.
“Affairs don’t happen in a vacuum,” Charity says. “Once you heal yourself and your marriage, 10,000 women can walk past my husband, and he’s not going to blink an eye because he’s not looking for an escape.”
The couple, who got married on 17 January 2004, healed their marriage after they discovered that well-meaning friends and family did not help the core problems in their marriage by wanting them to divorce and move on after the divorce.
“They acted more hurt and betrayed than I did,” Charity says. “People hate seeing how broken and shattered you are.”
Charity was a teacher and Matt had tested his hand at a music career in Nashville before settling into a more secure job. They had four children in five years, beginning almost exactly two years after they were married. “We were in survival mode,” Charity remembers.
- Culled
Eighteen-Eleven Media